Sunday, June 16, 2013

The number #1 key to having a successful relationship

The number one key to having a successful relationship is not half as much about the OTHER person as we ALL have been told. I know this sounds WAY out there, but just keep reading...let me explain.

Most women have been "told" by the world that a "soul-mate" (read my other post on Soul Mates: ) will be our Knight in Shining armor, love us perfectly, make us their highest priority, and our every emotional need will be filled by them, that we will never feel lonely, unloved, ugly or abandoned again--IF we have the RIGHT guy. And if you feel any of those negative feelings, then you just need to find the next guy and the next guy and the next guy...which can go on to infinity.

This is a horrible lie perpetuated by every "romantic comedy," tv, books and magazines out there. If you tell a lie to someone over and over again, they will eventually start to believe it. And that is what has happened to most women, we've been set up by the world to attain what is not human, but rather spiritual perfection and perfect love from an insanely flawed man. To which is absolutely impossible.
Like finding a brand new Range Rover for $2.00. Not gonna happen.

So what do we need to do?  We women, first need something literally OUT OF THIS WORLD. We all need to allow our hearts, mind and spirit to be made complete in Jesus, the King of kings.  This is the rightful place of God, our Rock that is higher than high. After all, He has already called us his bride.

Look in Isaiah 62:5, "As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you."

Every desire of your heart can be met by God Himself, because He can see your heart. No human man can do this. No human man can understand you fully, but God does, He put you together just as you are.

Jeremiah 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart;"
No one on earth knows you as complete and whole as God does. No one loves you as sweetly as God does. Why then should we expect this deep of "knowing"and complete loving from anyone less than God Himself? It is only God who can fill our hearts, never abandon us, be ever-present, ever listening, constant lover.

And yes, God DOES have a place for a flesh and blood, human man in our lives. Otherwise God wouldn't have made both, man and women. Man is supposed to be a shadow of what Christ is to the Church, willing to love so well, that he would die so that she may live. The man HAS a place, but it's our fault for putting him where only God can be. If we set a man to be our god, we will be sorely disappointed, hurt or worse.

By getting our sustaining love, perfect companionship, supernatural intervention into our lives from God Himself, we then can love a man, appropriately. He can then be entirely human, with faults, errors and misunderstanding and still be a great husband.

Of course I'm NOT saying that a man can treat you any old way HE thinks best. Some men are truly terrible and need to be stayed away from. Example, is he is physically violent. You need to get away and stay away.

So first, you need to accept Jesus as the lover of your soul. He comes first, always. Then, you need to pray to God and ask Him to direct you to the right human man. This also means you must keep your head in the game so to speak, and I mean  that you need to find a man that has a relationship with God himself, there is no need to have any relationship with a guy who has no relationship with God.

Then, you will both have a firm foundation, which is God, to build YOUR romantic relationship upon. And when troubles come, you can both come together to seek God for His help, healing, guidance, wisdom, blessing or whatever challenge you both might be facing.

With God has your common denominator, you have stability that will out last this lifetime. Without God, a relationship is like a two legged stool, it's nearly impossible to keep it up right. Wouldn't you rather have a three legged stool? Now that is a stool that can bear and incredible amount of weight and pressure and not break apart.

Remember, God first, then your man, equals a successful and healthy the ones in the romantic comedies. Ha ha ha!

Huge love, your girl,


PS: this takes major pressure off of your relationship, which is always a good thing!


  1. Will you please do a "What's on my iPhone video"? :)

  2. Hi Tiffany,
    I love your blogs.
    I am not 'living' my religion, I don't read the bible, but your thoughts and words give me great comfort.
    It is amazing for me to see your love and trust in God. Everbody has some heavy luggage to carry sometimes. It is good when you find a way to get some of that weight off your shoulders.
    When I read your blogs I feel like I am going back to the roots. It's good and I love it.
    Keep on posting. I'll be reading.
    Love to you and your family.

    ps: There is no perfect husband. respect, love, understanding, patients and a huge bucket of humour... seven years married and a two year old angel like daughter... I also think that our lives were planned before we were born and God probably made our ways join together.

  3. I really like this post!! Thanks so much for your honesty.. I find it really reassuring :) Jayne xx

  4. This is wonderful! Thanks for being a blessing! Jesus loves you.

  5. Thank you for writing about this. So many women don't understand the need for the correct balance in the marriage relationship and in their walk with the Lord. The idea of a perfect soul mate, like you said the world describes, I've never heard of it called a lie. I guess it shows that if you hear something long enough you'll believe it. Very clarifying and interesting.

  6. GOOD post! This spoke to my heart. I really enjoy reading your blogs. <3

  7. Tiffany, please keep posting. Your words are so encouraging and comforting. Keep sharing your thoughts. Lots of love to you :)

  8. Tiffany, please keep posting. Your words are so encouraging and comforting. Keep sharing your thoughts. Lots of love to you :)

  9. I vaguely prayed the other day that I wish I had a good Christian blog to read. I like Table Talk but it's so academic and dense that sometimes I have to read multiple times just to get it...I just found this blog. So relatable and easy to read. I'm so glad you include specific verses. What a blessing. Thank you.

  10. Wow! Thank you Tiffany for sharing something so beautifully written. Definitely spoke to me. God bless your marriage and family always ♡

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